I struggle to pray so much because I expect the wrong thing from it. 

I generally search for pleasure and entertainment pretty much all day long. Then I think about praying and I’m like, “well, it ain’t gonna be as nice as YouTube… dang, I know I should, but I want other things more.”

And I’m a hundred percent right – it won’t be that kind of nice. Because it’s not supposed to be. It’s a completely different category.

Prayer is meant to bring me deep peace, inner rest – to just position me well with the Father’s heart. It’s never gonna be entertaining. It’s never gonna be dopamine. Or almost never, idk. Anyway…

In order to actually want prayer, I have to reprogram my expectations. I need to consciously seek something that isn’t pleasure. To understand that I truly do want it, but also to accept that prayer won’t soothe some of the other desires I currently have.

Is breathing fun?